The Impossibility of Describing Yourself!
Updated: Jun 17, 2021
It is truly impossible to describe yourself in all realities. You might presume that you are your body or your mind or soul that religion keeps propagating, but how do we find out what we are? It is quite intriguing that the human mind begins to recognize itself the moment it experientially realizes that exterior circumstances are quite mundane by its nature. Buddha, Mahavir, Kabir and all of the mystics of their times have been beating around the bush but essentially saying the same thing, to look inward. But once again, what’s inward? What can you define as inward? No one has described what that word is.
Your mind has various capabilities and one of them is to disidentify itself, from itself. To liberate you, from yourself. Now, why do you need to do so? Well, sometimes you have good days, sometimes bad and that’s a part of life, but essentially everything we do from education to earning is to live a comfortable and fulfilling lifestyle and therefore, no matter what path you take, liberation is the goal directly or indirectly. Thus, inquiring into this matter is extremely crucial.
What does disidentifying mean? Everyone has a personality; a mask and the irony is that we all are running around strengthening it, when in fact we need to remove it. Somehow you were made to believe that this mask is you and so you have never seen your real self. Teachers, parents and your society tells you to be strong or be brave or be moral or be this and that, all of this is essentially a part of building your personality, isn’t it? When you stop creating more and more layers for yourself then you act out of awareness and not compulsion, you live moment to moment and not in the past or the future. There is complete freedom because there is nothing binding you. Please remember, fear binds your personality together, fear keeps you sane and you might think that being sane is good or needed but you will not flower, if you are sane, maybe you can live a mediocre life with money or a family, but you will not flower that genius you have, in order to reach your peak, one has to let loose of his sanity that society has created for him.
Fear stays as long as your personality is alive, once you meet your real self, fear breaks down, everything falls apart and what remains, is what is. In describing the sweetness of sugar, unfortunately, we are satisfied with just words, there is no thirst for experience, no will to actually taste this sugar and that is the function of the self, the self is against any kind of exploration. Yes, it will make you feel good after you meditate and fool yourself into thinking that you are making any kind of spiritual progress, but you are not. Within ourselves, we feel we are different just because we have different names, families, nations and so on. The deeper you go, the more you realise that essentially everything is one, duality begins to fade, there is no night or day but just stillness, there is no man or woman but just a shaped object. One might also start doubting whether or not the self exists. Enquiry is the basis and so questioning must be done. Why are we so intrigued with people who carry themselves as so-called self-made individuals, why do people strive to be known or be different or rather be the ones who call themselves individuals?
We are unique in many ways, but does that mean we are individual by nature? When we say nature, let's not intellectualize it or think about it mentally, emotionally or in any other sense. Depth will come where the mind does not, always. So, this self, is it really one whole or fragmented? Is it not broken into tiny bits and pieces? Different parts of me are experiencing different emotions, one part of me is unhappy, the other wants to be happy while the third is loving and the other is full of spite. There are so many fragmented emotions that the self creates that you become almost schizophrenic, but in the society you live in, it is normal. In the world that is a mental hospital, all the patients are considered normal. So anyway, we seem to have divided our state into several emotions and emotions are a byproduct of thought, in fact, you can classify an emotion as a thought but just with more drama and music, it is a pot of honey covered with a smooth layer of poison. Therefore, it is impossible to view yourself as a whole because society has imprinted some kind of mask upon you, and it will not come off unless a deep inquiry is made by the questioner.
Ramana, a mystic residing in the south kept emphasizing ‘Who am I?’, he kept telling everyone to ask this question to themselves and still those idiots do it but not in the way he told them to, they repeat it like a mantra. When Ramana asked this question, his very being shook, his mind came to a standstill, he could see the dual nature of life, all the pieces of the puzzle were now fixed, and he saw himself as a whole. But now all those who know him repeat it intellectually like a mantra, they use auto hypnotism on themselves and call it a spiritual experience when in reality it is a gimmick. Asking someone or rather yourself to describe yourself is no mere fit, it can shake your existence from your very being if it is asked in a way that penetrates all levels of you. Can you make this one question transform you? Because that is all it takes.